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Apologies for the lack of decent posts in recent days. Work’s been taking up most of my time. We’re making some changes at work and the way we do things.

What I like about working here is that everyone on the team knows what he or she has to do for the good of the team. We’re all team players and we all want to see improvements to the team, so we all work hard together, unlike in other places where some people work hard and others leave them to do all the work.

The other thing that has been taking up most of my time is helping CANA with their porn stars series of sessions.

The first session held Mar 15 was a success. When we started, we thought we’d be lucky to get 20 people turning up for the session. We thought that we would see mostly middle-age women - CANA’s usual audience - turn up for the sessions. But in the days leading up to the start of the session, we began to see a jump to 40, then 50 on the afternoon of the session.

“Prepare for 50,” Petra said. So while CANA’s main odd-job volunteer, Balmy, prepared for 50, John, the main speaker for the evening, sat and nervously prepared for his session. It would be, after all, his first public confession of his addiction to pornography.

Five minutes before the session started, John inquired as to the number of people present. There were about 60 people. We saw mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, young and elderly singles, doctors, youths, and even a couple of religious present. A very good mix of people, which was certainly interesting. It showed that the topic of pornography really does affect

And so the talk began. Through it all, John reported his legs shaking and teeth chattering, but a member of the audience said he looked composed and he sounded calm.

Responses from the audience was rather striking. Throughout John’s sharing, I saw heads nodding in agreement with what he shared. People understood what he said and what he said struck a chord with them. They understand because they felt the same way before too. He laid on the table what they always thought were emotions and feelings they alone felt.

And that’s the shame of pornography. It makes us think we’re the only ones feeling this way, when in reality, every Thomas, Richard, and Lee go through the same thing. I say Thomas, Richard, and Lee because it’s something that we don’t usually expect these educated and refined, church-going, ministry-serving people to experience. But they do go through it. Deep down, they’re just like us - human.

So now, out of the 60 people present, John said that he had met about 15 of them before. Fifteen people he knew in his personal capacity, and none of them knew of his addiction before. How do they look at him now?

John shared that previously he was afraid that once people knew, they would look at him differently, and in a negative way, but one thing that John has realised is that no one he knows looks at him in a negative way. On the contrary, what he said expressed very well what others had kept to themselves. And indeed during the time open to the floor, members of the audience stood up spontaneously to share their own stories.

Sometimes their voices cracked, sometimes they stuttered, but they shed their chains of shame to come out into the open. I have seen the power of one man’s testimony. I have seen how what he shared brought others into the light with him. The light, naturally, exposes the darkness within oneself, but in doing so, the light replaced that darkness.

And I am in awe of that light.

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