OXYGEN

25 Feb
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Sirach 6:5-17

A kindly turn of speech multiplies a man’s friends,
and a courteous way of speaking invites many a friendly reply.
Let your acquaintances be many,
but your advisers one in a thousand.
If you want to make a friend, take him on trial,
and be in no hurry to trust him;
for one kind of friend is only so when it suits him
but will not stand by you in your day of trouble.
Another kind of friend will fall out with you
and to your dismay make the quarrel public,
and a third kind of friend will share your table,
but not stand by you in your day of trouble:
when you are doing well he will be your second self,
ordering your servants about;
but if ever you are brought low he will turn against you
and will hide himself from you.
Keep well clear of your enemies,
and be wary of your friends.
A faithful friend is a sure shelter,
whoever finds one has found a rare treasure.
A faithful friend is something beyond price,
there is no measuring his worth.
A faithful friend is the elixir of life,
and those who fear the Lord will find one.
Whoever fears the Lord makes true friends,
for as a man is, so is his friend.
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Mark 10:1-12

Jesus came to the district of Judaea and the far side of the Jordan. And again crowds gathered round him, and again he taught them, as his custom was. Some Pharisees approached him and asked, ‘Is it against the law for a man to divorce his wife?’ They were testing him. He answered them, ‘What did Moses command you?’ ‘Moses allowed us’ they said ‘to draw up a writ of dismissal and so to divorce.’ Then Jesus said to them, ‘It was because you were so unteachable that he wrote this commandment for you. But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. This is why a man must leave father and mother, and the two become one body. They are no longer two, therefore, but one body. So then, what God has united, man must not divide.’ Back in the house the disciples questioned him again about this, and he said to them, ‘The man who divorces his wife and marries another is guilty of adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another she is guilty of adultery too.’
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What God has united, man must not divide

Not too long ago in the news, there was a story of a man who had a wife from China. His family did not know of this wife of his, but when he died, and his mother was about to receive the inheritance, the man’s wife came out of nowhere and demanded her share of half of the inheritance.

The mother was, understandably shocked, and told the court that this marriage was a sham. It is not uncommon for women from overseas to pay men to marry them and then apply for a divorce three years later. This allows the women to obtain Singapore citizenship. However, the court threw the case out, because Singapore law does not recognise the concept of sham marriages. The couple was married legally.

Our hearts might go out to the mother in this story, and say that this is unfair, but this is how the law in Singapore is crafted – it favours spouses and children over elderly parents. If the man had a child with his wife, the man’s mother would not have been entitled to any share of the inheritance. Again, our hearts might go out to the woman, but this is the law.

Interestingly though, we would find that our Catholic teaching supports the law, because this is what Jesus taught – that when a man gets married, he leaves his mother and father to become joined with his wife, and this union is permanent, separated only by death. This is why the Church is especially strict when it comes to divorces. It does not recognise the legal divorce that some couples go through, and treats the man and woman as still married to each other.

Also interestingly, it would seem that the rate of divorces among Catholics in Singapore is about the same as the rate of divorces among Singaporeans. I’ve met Catholic divorcees trying to get married in church, but not being allowed to. This is especially painful for the partner who has not been married before. I have seen Catholic couples leaving the Church because of this matter, and many carrying a lot of anger towards the Church because of this.

It is not a law that is about to change any time soon, so we can expect that as the number of divorces rise in Singapore, especially among Catholic couples, the number of Catholics going to church would probably decrease as well.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Daniel Tay)
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Prayer: We pray for Catholics who have gone through painful divorces and separations, may they find comfort and solace in their friends.

Thanksgiving: We give thanks to the Lord for our friends who are with us through thick and thin.

Upcoming Readings:
Sat, 26 Feb – Sirach 17:1-13; Mark 10:13-16
Sun, 27 Feb – Isaiah 49:14-15; 1 Corinthians 4:1-5; Matthew 6:24-34; Eighth Sunday of Ordinary Time