24 October, Monday – The Rage In Her Heart

24 October – Memorial for St. Anthony Mary Claret, Bishop

Anthony Mary Claret (1807–1870) was a weaver and a seminary student with Blessed Francis Coll. He was ordained on 13 June 1835, and became a missionary in Catalonia and the Canary Islands. He directed retreats and founded the Congregation of Missionary Sons of the Immaculate Heart of Mary (Claretians). He became Archbishop of Santiago de Cuba on 20 May 1850, and founded the Teaching Sisters of Mary Immaculate.
Following his work in the Caribbean, Blessed Pope Pius IX ordered him back to Spain where he became confessor to Queen Isabella II and was exiled with her. He had the gift of prophecy and miracles, and was reported to have preached 10,000 sermons, published 200 works. He spread devotion to the Blessed Sacrament and the Immaculate Heart of Mary.

– Patron Saint Index

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Ephesians 4:32-5:8

Be friends with one another, and kind, forgiving each other as readily as God forgave you in Christ.

Try, then, to imitate God as children of his that he loves and follow Christ loving as he loved you, giving himself up in our place as a fragrant offering and a sacrifice to God. Among you there must be not even a mention of fornication or impurity in any of its forms, or promiscuity: this would hardly become the saints! There must be no coarseness, or salacious talk and jokes – all this is wrong for you; raise your voices in thanksgiving instead. For you can be quite certain that nobody who actually indulges in fornication or impurity or promiscuity – which is worshipping a false god – can inherit anything of the kingdom of God. Do not let anyone deceive you with empty arguments: it is for this loose living that God’s anger comes down on those who rebel against him. Make sure that you are not included with them. You were darkness once, but now you are light in the Lord; be like children of light.

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Luke 13:10-17

One sabbath day Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues, and a woman was there who for eighteen years had been possessed by a spirit that left her enfeebled; she was bent double and quite unable to stand upright. When Jesus saw her he called her over and said, ‘Woman, you are rid of your infirmity’ and he laid his hands on her. And at once she straightened up, and she glorified God.

But the synagogue official was indignant because Jesus had healed on the sabbath, and he addressed the people present. ‘There are six days’ he said ‘when work is to be done. Come and be healed on one of those days and not on the sabbath.’ But the Lord answered him. ‘Hypocrites!’ he said ‘Is there one of you who does not untie his ox or his donkey from the manger on the sabbath and take it out for watering? And this woman, a daughter of Abraham whom Satan has held bound these eighteen years – was it not right to untie her bonds on the sabbath day?’ When he said this, all his adversaries were covered with confusion, and all the people were overjoyed at all the wonders he worked.

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And a woman was there who for eighteen years had been crippled by a spirit

­My grandmother died with anger in her heart. Hers was a slow deterioration — a long, sad, bewildering goodbye. I feel she lost herself before she left us. Towards the end, she seemed to obsess over things that had happened years ago, old hurts that had been inflicted on her, but she would forget what you said to her ten minutes before. She was like a different person altogether. Who was once a loving, happy force in my life, changed into someone I didn’t recognize. It was as if a black pall came over her. When she finally let go and breathed her last, it felt like she had been set free. Whatever evil had taken hold of her mind, it was gone and she had returned to God.

I’ll never understand why her manner changed towards the end. I read that the dying know their time is up, and as the days pass, they relinquish more of the banalities of life, until what’s left is just the essence of their soul. It hurts me to think it was anger that resided at the core of her heart. Anger and bitterness. Because in life, she wasn’t like that. She was a beautiful person. I still don’t know what could have happened to change her at the end, or how the unresolved conflicts in her life became so large that they consumed her.

In today’s gospel, we read that the woman was gripped by an evil spirit. That’s what anger does to the heart when we hold on to it. Grudges, nurtured by resentment and unforgiveness, become hatred with the passage of time. Caught up in our rage, love dies in our heart. My grandmother pushed everyone away at the end. She didn’t mean to, she just couldn’t help herself. Her anger defined her and she died holding on to it.

I want to believe that she is with Jesus now, that he has freed her from the rage that held her hostage at the end. I pray he frees us too, those of us who loved her but were stung by her sharp words at the end. Those of us she left behind, who are still holding on to the hurt and confusion in our hearts. I want to only remember the loving, devoted woman who was so much a part of my happy childhood. I pray that she is at peace now. I pray she is with God now.

(Today’s Oxygen by Sharon Soo)

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Prayer: We pray for those who have passed on, may they find the peace that eluded them in life.

Thanksgiving: We give thanks for the Holy Spirit, who calms us during the storms of our life, who saves us from ourselves.

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