If our life in Christ means anything to you, if love can persuade at all, or the Spirit that we have in common, or any tenderness and sympathy, then be united in your convictions and united in your love, with a common purpose and a common mind. That is the one thing which would make me completely happy. There must be no competition among you, no conceit; but everybody is to be self-effacing. Always consider the other person to be better than yourself, So that nobody thinks of his own interests first but everybody thinks of other people’s interests instead.
Jesus said to his host, one of the leading Pharisees, ‘When you give a lunch or a dinner, do not ask your friends, brothers, relations or rich neighbours, for fear they repay your courtesy by inviting you in return. No; when you have a party, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind; that they cannot pay you back means that you are fortunate, because repayment will be made to you when the virtuous rise again.’
“Rather, when you hold a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind; blessed indeed will you be because of their inability to repay you”
How do you know if the charity that you do goes towards a truly worthwhile cause, or if it is enabling freeloading behaviour? I’ve had reason to ask myself this over the last year. It’s particularly difficult to address when that freeloading behaviour comes from members of one’s own family. Do you risk fraying family ties by calling it out? Do you put up with it in the interest of maintaining household harmony? How can encouraging bad behaviour be a sustainable solution for the long term? Someone or something has to give at some point.
That old yarn about how ‘charity begins at home’ doesn’t tell us what to do when those who inhabit our ‘home’ are serial scroungers. These are the relatives who seem to have an endless supply of sob stories, who guilt us into giving up our time, effort and money yet think nothing of posting pictures on social media of how they’re living up #thisblessedlife. They’ll never have enough money to see to repairs at home or meet their credit card payments yet seem to always find the funds for #awesome vacations. How does the math add up?
Scripture tells us this about giving – “invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind… because of their inability to repay you”. It also makes it abundantly clear that we are not to enable freeloading behaviour, “…keep away from any brother who lives an undisciplined life and not according to the tradition they received from us … if anyone is not willing to work, neither should he eat” (Thess 3: 6-10). The strong work ethic that was once the backbone of our great country now seems to have been replaced by an insidious kind of ‘victim complex’ entitlement. Didn’t work for it? Don’t worry you’re entitled to it because of your circumstances, connections and your ability to work the system. Whatever happened to pride in an honest day’s work?
The holiday season will be upon us soon; ‘high noon’ for those of us who grapple with the scroungers in our lives. Maybe this year, I will develop a backbone and call this behaviour out for what it is. All our treasure ultimately comes from God. As stewards of His capital, it is our job to figure out the best use for it. Funding someone’s show-off social media hashtags doesn’t seem to be the answer. And I become part of the problem if I enable this behaviour by saying and doing nothing.
(Today’s OXYGEN by Sharon Soo)
Prayer: We pray for the strength and fortitude our cross, and to make the difficult to carry and often unpopular decisions that come with it.
Thanksgiving: We give thanks for the prayers and support of those that God sends to help us with carrying our cross.