17 April 2019
The Lord has given me
a disciple’s tongue.
So that I may know how to reply to the wearied
he provides me with speech.
Each morning he wakes me to hear,
to listen like a disciple.
The Lord has opened my ear.
For my part, I made no resistance,
neither did I turn away.
I offered my back to those who struck me,
my cheeks to those who tore at my beard;
I did not cover my face
against insult and spittle.
The Lord comes to my help,
so that I am untouched by the insults.
So, too, I set my face like flint;
I know I shall not be shamed.
My vindicator is here at hand. Does anyone start proceedings against me?
Then let us go to court together.
Who thinks he has a case against me?
Let him approach me.
The Lord is coming to my help,
who will dare to condemn me?
One of the Twelve, the man called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, ‘What are you prepared to give me if I hand him over to you?’ They paid him thirty silver pieces, and from that moment he looked for an opportunity to betray him.
Now on the first day of Unleavened Bread the disciples came to Jesus to say, ‘Where do you want us to make the preparations for you to eat the passover?’ ‘Go to so-and-so in the city’ he replied ‘and say to him, “The Master says: My time is near. It is at your house that I am keeping Passover with my disciples.”’ The disciples did what Jesus told them and prepared the Passover.
When evening came he was at table with the twelve disciples. And while they were eating he said ‘I tell you solemnly, one of you is about to betray me.’ They were greatly distressed and started asking him in turn, ‘Not I, Lord, surely?’ He answered, ‘Someone who has dipped his hand into the dish with me, will betray me. The Son of Man is going to his fate, as the scriptures say he will, but alas for that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! Better for that man if he had never been born!’ Judas, who was to betray him; asked in his turn, ‘Not I, Rabbi, surely?’ ‘They are your own words’ answered Jesus.
Judas, who betrayed him, said, “Surely not I, Rabbi?” He replied, “You have said so.”
I wonder how Judas must have been feeling when he said “Surely not I, Rabbi?”, and to think that Jesus wouldn’t already know?
I think the many times that I’ve sinned, sometimes maybe I’m more willing to sin because I haven’t faced the consequences or may have forgotten what it means to go against Christ. Such times are filled with guilt, remorse, regret, where I can’t be myself, where I’m not at peace with myself, where I’m not free. I add on to my burdens and it weighs down on my shoulders to know that I’m such a person and, deep down in my heart, I know that I’ve turned away from the person that Christ desires for me to be. It affects me and, in turn, affects the people around me.
I wonder whether Judas, Peter or anyone who has turned their backs against Christ may and probably would have experienced these feelings as well. We are not able to change what we have done but what we are able to do is to repent and return to Christ. This is usually the season where the church is packed, suddenly there is no space to sit or even to stand on services like Good Friday or Easter Vigil.
The challenge is for us not to make it an adhoc experience but a call to conversion. A betrayal would occur because we choose one thing over another, in this case, Judas chose the thirty pieces of silver over Jesus. And like the many times that we sin, it’s because we also choose something over Jesus, whether pleasure, work, friends, parties, money or fame. This conversion requires us to realign our mission and purpose to make Jesus the centre of our lives, to allow all that we do and say to flow from and through Him.
Just as the betrayal, though led to the death of Christ, it also led to His resurrection and hence our salvation. The betrayal isn’t the end — we do not need to condemn ourselves or always live in shame, for Christ is ever ready to forgive us, as long as we first learn to forgive ourselves and others, to embrace all that we’ve done wrong to ensure we do not repeat our mistakes. There is hope and light at the end of the tunnel. We just need to look ahead instead of behind, we need to move towards the light instead of remaining in darkness, we need to reclaim our identity instead of allowing the world to decide for us. We need courage and faith instead of money and freedom. We need to live instead of survive.
We need Jesus. Amen.
(Today’s OXYGEN by Benjamin Mao)
Prayer: Dear Lord, we pray that we may have your strength to resist and fight temptations. Help us to always turn and look to you. Help us not be distracted by what is seemingly good and pleasurable. Help us to not just focus on the worldly but the eternal. Help us in our conversion, that our hearts may be like yours.
Thanksgiving: Thank you Lord, for this hope that you give, to know that there is salvation. Thank you for your love. Amen.