Tag Archives: geraldine nah

12 February, Tuesday – Good Fruit

12 February 2019

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Genesis 1:20-2:4

God said, ‘Let the waters teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth within the vault of heaven.’ And so it was. God created great sea-serpents and every kind of living creature with which the waters teem, and every kind of winged creature. God saw that it was good. God blessed them, saying, ‘Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the waters of the seas; and let the birds multiply upon the earth.’ Evening came and morning came: the fifth day.

God said, ‘Let the earth produce every kind of living creature: cattle, reptiles, and every kind of wild beast.’ And so it was. God made every kind of wild beast, every kind of cattle, and every kind of land reptile. God saw that it was good.

God said, ‘Let us make man in our own image, in the likeness of ourselves, and let them be masters of the fish of the sea, the birds of heaven, the cattle, all the wild beasts and all the reptiles that crawl upon the earth.’

God created man in the image of himself,
in the image of God he created him,
male and female he created them.

God blessed them, saying to them, ‘Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and conquer it. Be masters of the fish of the sea, the birds of heaven and all living animals on the earth.’ God said, ‘See, I give you all the seed-bearing plants that are upon the whole earth, and all the trees with seed-bearing fruit; this shall be your food. To all wild beasts, all birds of heaven and all living reptiles on the earth I give all the foliage of plants for food.’ And so it was. God saw all he had made, and indeed it was very good. Evening came and morning came: the sixth day.

Thus heaven and earth were completed with all their array. On the seventh day God completed the work he had been doing. He rested on the seventh day after all the work he had been doing. God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on that day he had rested after all his work of creating.

Such were the origins of heaven and earth when they were created.

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Mark 7:1-13

The Pharisees and some of the scribes who had come from Jerusalem gathered round Jesus, and they noticed that some of his disciples were eating with unclean hands, that is, without washing them. For the Pharisees, and the Jews in general, follow the tradition of the elders and never eat without washing their arms as far as the elbow; and on returning from the market place they never eat without first sprinkling themselves. There are also many other observances which have been handed down to them concerning the washing of cups and pots and bronze dishes. So these Pharisees and scribes asked him, ‘Why do your disciples not respect the tradition of the elders but eat their food with unclean hands?’ He answered, ‘It was of you hypocrites that Isaiah so rightly prophesied in this passage of scripture:

This people honours me only with lip-service,
while their hearts are far from me.
The worship they offer me is worthless,
the doctrines they teach are only human regulations.

You put aside the commandment of God to cling to human traditions.’ And he said to them, ‘How ingeniously you get round the commandment of God in order to preserve your own tradition! For Moses said: Do your duty to your father and your mother, and, Anyone who curses father or mother must be put to death. But you say, “If a man says to his father or mother: Anything I have that I might have used to help you is Corban (that is, dedicated to God), then he is forbidden from that moment to do anything for his father or mother.” In this way you make God’s word null and void for the sake of your tradition which you have handed down. And you do many other things like this.’

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Be fruitful and multiply.

When I was younger in my faith journey, I thought that when God said ‘Be fruitful and multiply’, it meant procreation. In my youth, I had it all planned – I would be married and have children. That’s how I would be fruitful. I looked up the definitions of the words. ‘Be fruitful’ means to be producing good results or being productive, the word ‘multiply’ means to increase or cause to increase greatly in number or quantity. Fast forward to today – I am not married, nor do I have children. Does that mean that this line in today’s first reading has little to do with me? Or am I not being fruitful because I have not produced any offspring?

Jesus was 33 years old, did not have any wife nor kids; does that deem him also unfruitful and unproductive? As I pondered on this deeper, I know that we are all called to be fruitful. Whether married or single. We don’t have to ‘produce fruit’ in order to be fruitful. We could have a fruitful trip to the store if we bought all we wanted at good discounts. Or if we made a trip to the market and came home with the freshest produce. For me it would be finding good quality chorizo at the weekend market.

As Christians, we are called to be fruitful with our vocations, our time and gifts that God has given to us. Fruitful in our behaviour, attitude, words, and thoughts. To be fruitful means to follow Christ. To love what He loves. To do what He commands from a loving motive and with a joyful spirit. This obedience is both predestined by and empowered by God Himself which removes any grounds for boasting in how fruitful our lives or ministries become. It is by God’s grace and our abiding in Christ that we produce good fruit.

So what are some ways we can be fruitful and multiply?

In the workplace, we have to be responsible, diligent and do our part in the organization. Getting away with the bare minimum, getting our colleagues to do the heavy lifting, gossiping, back stabbing and being a ‘tai chi master’ is not fruitful.

As caregivers or parents, when we care for, love and look after the needs of our children, parents or aged relatives.

As children, when we are responsible for our actions, when we do the very best at our studies, when we volunteer to help a friend who is struggling with a subject, when we take out the trash after dinner or clean out our room.

As a single, when we can give of our time to help a charitable organisation, look out for the elderly in our neighbourhood, be a listening ear to someone struggling with depression, cook for someone who doesn’t have regular meals, or when we use our talents and resources to benefit others.

So as long as we are living lives that pleasing to God, when our lives are a reflection of Jesus in our hearts and we bring Him glory (whether we have children or not) – we are fruitful and multiplying. Indeed, we can be spiritually fruitful and multiply the citizens of the Kingdom of God when we obey Jesus’ command to “go and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19).

So go forth my brothers and sisters, with Jesus in living in us, let us be fruitful and multiply.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Geraldine Nah)

Prayer: Come Lord Jesus, and help us to live fully and faithfully to our covenant. May our lives be spiritually fruitful and pleasing to You. May our hearts burst with love and a great desire to bring joy to others because you, Jesus, first loved us. 

Thanksgiving: God, thank you making us in your image and your likeness. Thank you for looking at us and saying ‘indeed it was very good.’ Now may we live our lives worthy of you.

11 February, Monday – Do you want to be healed?

11 Feb –Memorial for Our Lady Of Lourdes; World Day of Prayer for the Sick

Today is an optional memorial for Our Lady of Lourdes. The apparitions concerned began on Feb 11, 1858, when St. Bernadette Soubirous, then a 14-year-old peasant girl from Lourdes admitted, when questioned by her mother, that she had seen a ‘lady’ in the cave of Massabielle, about a mile from the town, while she was gathering firewood with her sister and a friend. Similar appearances of the ‘lady’ took place on 17 further occasions that year. Most Catholics believe that the ‘lady’ concerned is the Virgin Mary.

It was on the ninth appearance on Feb 25 that Bernadette was told by the Lady to dig under a rock and drink the water that she found. A day later, a spring began to flow from it. On Mar 1, the 12th appearance, Catherine Latapie reported that she bathed her paralyzed arm in the spring, and instantaneously regained full movement. This was the first of the scientifically unattributable events to take place.

On the 13th appearance on Mar 2, the Lady commanded Bernadette to tell the priests to “come here in procession and to build a chapel here”. The priests would not do so until they knew who the Lady was. On the 16th appearance on Mar 25, the Lady, with her arms down and eyes raised to heaven, folded her hands over her breast and said, “I am the Immaculate Conception.”

To ensure claims of cures were examined properly and to protect the town from fradulent claims of miracles, the Lourdes Medical Bureau was established. About 7,000 people have sought to have their case confirmed as a ‘miracle’, of which only 68 have been declared a scientifically inexplicable ‘miracle’ by both the Bureau and the Catholic Church.

Because the apparitions are private revelation, and not public revelation, Roman Catholics are not required to believe them, nor does it add any additional material to the truths of the Catholic Church as expressed in public revelation. In Roman Catholic belief, God chooses whom He wants cured, and whom He does not, and by what means. Bernadette said, “One must have faith and pray; the water will have no virtue without faith.”

  • Wikipedia

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Genesis 1:1-19

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was a formless void, there was darkness over the deep, and God’s spirit hovered over the water.

God said, ‘Let there be light’, and there was light. God saw that light was good, and God divided light from darkness. God called light ‘day’, and darkness he called ‘night.’ Evening came and morning came: the first day.

God said, ‘Let there be a vault in the waters to divide the waters in two.’ And so it was. God made the vault, and it divided the waters above the vault from the waters under the vault. God called the vault ‘heaven.’ Evening came and morning came: the second day.

God said, ‘Let the waters under heaven come together into a single mass, and let dry land appear.’ And so it was. God called the dry land ‘earth’ and the mass of waters ‘seas’, and God saw that it was good.
God said, ‘Let the earth produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants, and fruit trees bearing fruit with their seed inside, on the earth.’ And so it was. The earth produced vegetation: plants bearing seed in their several kinds, and trees bearing fruit with their seed inside in their several kinds. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came: the third day.

God said, ‘Let there be lights in the vault of heaven to divide day from night, and let them indicate festivals, days and years. Let them be lights in the vault of heaven to shine on the earth.’ And so it was. God made the two great lights: the greater light to govern the day, the smaller light to govern the night, and the stars. God set them in the vault of heaven to shine on the earth, to govern the day and the night and to divide light from darkness. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came: the fourth day.

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Mark 6:53-56

Having made the crossing, Jesus and his disciples came to land at Gennesaret and tied up. No sooner had they stepped out of the boat than people recognised him, and started hurrying all through the countryside and brought the sick on stretchers to wherever they heard he was. And wherever he went, to village, or town, or farm, they laid down the sick in the open spaces, begging him to let them touch even the fringe of his cloak. And all those who touched him were cured.

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All who touched it were healed

Dementia and depression among elderly folks are real and on the rise; these are common conditions in older people, and they frequently occur together. In Singapore and our aging population, the numbers are alarming:

  • The Department of Statistics estimates that 83,000 elderly persons will be living alone by 2030, compared with the 47,000 seniors aged 65 and above in 2016.
  • 1 in 5 elder people shows signs of depression
  • 129 elderly committed suicide in 2017 — a record high since 1991

My parents passed on several years ago and I am thankful that my brother and I did not have to deal with elderly parents with dementia and depression (though we had other challenges). However, the God of surprises led me to come face to face with this recently.

I have an elderly couple as neighbours – probably in their late 70s and mid-80s. The husband passed away in November last year, leaving his wife. She now lives alone, apart from her remaining child. This lady, as I am beginning to discover, suffers from depression and early on-set dementia. I have always felt that her family was being uncaring and irresponsible for leaving her alone, especially in grief and I felt a lot of sympathy for her. However, I am sure that there are reasons for her condition and why her family is behaving this way. Everyone has a story.

Our interactions have been generally neighbourly in nature – we look out for her in case anything happens at home, we share our food with her just so she has meals. Oh, she can well afford things, it’s just her medical and emotional condition prevent her from looking after herself.

Recently, these interactions have become a call for help and a way of seeking attention. One day, she called me, announcing she was going to commit suicide. Having no knowledge of how to deal with such matters, we attended to her by inviting her over as a means of distraction and hopefully, some form of comfort. Long story short, that episode was one of her ways of seeking attention – attention she was not getting from her family and loved ones. However, these have turned a bit uncomfortable for me. One day, she called me 7 times and even stalked me at home. She became passive-aggressive and accused my poor helper of something which was completely misconstrued by this lady. The next day, she apologized. But I knew it was time for me to take steps to draw healthy boundaries. We are now limiting our interactions with her and not taking the daily calls.

However, I struggle. How do I balance what is loving and charitable, while protecting my own sanity? Demented people make up stories in their heads and are often paranoid. What happens if one day she makes up a story that we poisoned her meals? How did an act of charity turn so wrong? Can a person so desperately in need of help, help herself?

This brings to mind the story of the healing at the pool; the man who lay helplessly by the pool of Bethesda. (John 5:1-14). “When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be healed?” Of course we all want to be healed of our sickness, but really don’t know how; or are too afraid to let go. We hold on to our emotional wounds, our scars, our grudges, bitterness, unforgiveness, hurts, anger; we use these to build an emotional wall to prevent additional forms of pain and suffering from penetrating. It becomes like a security blanket, a badge of honour. We stalk about getting rid of that blanket, how it’s awful, and stinks, and we’re so desperate to be free of it. But when anyone tries to tug it away, we hold on tight.

Do you want to be healed?

We need to participate in our healing. Healing can be even more painful than the original wound. Broken bones have to be set. And that setting can first mean re-breaking.

We pray and ask God to heal us, to strengthen us, to remove this issue in our life, to free us of our infirmities. But are we truly willing to be healed? Are we ready to let go of the security blanket and give Jesus access to those scabbed, wounded places? If so, it means we have to get up and walk. It means using sedentary muscles not used to exercise. It means allowing blood to flow into places long paralyzed. It could hurt. And it would probably hurt a lot — at first.

But it’s the difference between living your life pool-side, and swimming freely in the abundant life God has for you as His child.

Do we have faith enough to believe that Jesus can heal us? Today, I pray that my neighbour and her family be healed physically, emotionally and mentally, that broken relationships be healed.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Geraldine Nah)

Prayer: Jesus, we lift up all those who are suffering – mentally, emotionally and physically. That they will be willing to let go of the walls of suffering built over the years and let you come into their pain and heal them.

Thanksgiving: Thank you Jesus, for recognizing our desires to be healed. Thank you for healing our bodies, and awakening our hearts. Thank you for giving us back a sense of purpose, freeing us from the bonds of self-pity, pride, fear, discouragement, hopelessness and resignation.

10 February, Sunday – The love of God shown to the unlovely

10 February 2019

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Isaiah 6:1-2,3-8

In the year of King Uzziah’s death I saw the Lord of Hosts seated on a high throne; his train filled the sanctuary; above him stood seraphs, each one with six wings.
And they cried out to one another in this way,

‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of Hosts.
His glory fills the whole earth.’

The foundations of the threshold shook with the voice of the one who cried out, and the Temple was filled with smoke. I said:

‘What a wretched state I am in! I am lost,
for I am a man of unclean lips
and I live among a people of unclean lips,
and my eyes have looked at the King, the Lord of Hosts.’

Then one of the seraphs flew to me, holding in his hand a live coal which he had taken from the altar with a pair of tongs. With this he touched my mouth and said:

‘See now, this has touched your lips,
your sin is taken away,
your iniquity is purged.’

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying:

‘Whom shall I send? Who will be our messenger?’

I answered, ‘Here I am, send me.’

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1 Corinthians 15:1-11

Brothers, I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, the gospel that you received and in which you are firmly established; because the gospel will save you only if you keep believing exactly what I preached to you – believing anything else will not lead to anything.
Well then, in the first place, I taught you what I had been taught myself, namely that Christ died for our sins, in accordance with the scriptures; that he was buried; and that he was raised to life on the third day, in accordance with the scriptures; that he appeared first to Cephas and secondly to the Twelve. Next he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers at the same time, most of whom are still alive, though some have died; then he appeared to James, and then to all the apostles; and last of all he appeared to me too; it was as though I was born when no one expected it.

I am the least of the apostles; in fact, since I persecuted the Church of God, I hardly deserve the name apostle; but by God’s grace that is what I am, and the grace that he gave me has not been fruitless. On the contrary, I, or rather the grace of God that is with me, have worked harder than any of the others; but what matters is that I preach what they preach, and this is what you all believed.

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Luke 5:1-11

Jesus was standing one day by the Lake of Gennesaret, with the crowd pressing round him listening to the word of God, when he caught sight of two boats close to the bank. The fishermen had gone out of them and were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats – it was Simon’s – and asked him to put out a little from the shore. Then he sat down and taught the crowds from the boat.

When he had finished speaking he said to Simon, ‘Put out into deep water and pay out your nets for a catch.’ ‘Master,’ Simon replied, ‘we worked hard all night long and caught nothing, but if you say so, I will pay out the nets.’ And when they had done this they netted such a huge number of fish that their nets began to tear, so they signalled to their companions in the other boat to come and help them; when these came, they filled the two boats to sinking point.

When Simon Peter saw this he fell at the knees of Jesus saying, ‘Leave me, Lord; I am a sinful man.’ For he and all his companions were completely overcome by the catch they had made; so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were Simon’s partners. But Jesus said to Simon, ‘Do not be afraid; from now on it is men you will catch.’ Then, bringing their boats back to land, they left everything and followed him.

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The grace of God which is with me

Recently at Friday Growth, our spiritual director Fr. Andrew asked us to share with the person sitting next to us, what graces we received recently. “It’s important to acknowledge what God has done for us, no matter how small,” he extolled.

My sharing partner said that it was by the grace of God that she was able to find a contractor (by chance) to renovate her home, a major ‘add and alter’ job. He did it within budget, on time and beautifully. That, to her, was God’s grace.

Another person shared that she had been estranged from her son for close to 9 months – a fight and exchange of harsh words last year caused her son to leave home and cut all communication with her. For a mother, that is heartbreak and extremely painful. Grace for her happened just before Christmas. Her son re-established contact with her and they are slowly mending that relationship.

For me, I simply shared that it was by God’s grace that the day was uneventful. And I meant it. Since January started, I feel like I am being pulled in all directions. Not having a conventional job, people tend to think that I have a lot of time on my hands. Perhaps I avail myself too easily – especially to people or situations who need my help. From helping a neighbour in grief, to ministry work – everything started with the best of intentions. But lately, I started to feel resentful. Maybe because I have been trying to deal with some issues myself, but having to spend copious amounts of time on others’ issues and their demands on my time, I am feeling exhausted and used.

What is Grace? Grace is the love of God shown to the unlovely; the peace of God given to the restless; the unmerited favour of God.

We see God’s grace permeating in all the reading’s today – we see God’s goodness and man’s unworthiness in Isaiah’s response in the first reading. In the second reading, Paul perceived himself as so unworthy and unfit to be called to apostleship because he “persecuted the church of God.” And finally in the gospel, despite Simon’s disbelief, God showed his grace by giving them more fish than their nets could hold.

Brothers and sisters, do we count ourselves as so unworthy and so unfit to receive God’s grace today? Are we so caught up in our own sufferings or perceptions of how things ought to be, that we fail to see God’s grace in our lives? Grace is God choosing to bless us rather than curse us as our sin deserves. It is His benevolence to the undeserving.

For me, although I am feeling exhausted and used, God’s grace is giving me the time, intellect and resources to be able to do His work. I just need to draw strength from Him and believe that everything works for a greater good.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Geraldine Nah)

Prayer: Lord, help us to be good stewards of the graces given to us. Set us free to serve others with the gift you have given us, for the glory of Christ. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Thanksgiving: Every good and perfect gift comes from you, Lord. Thank you for your graces showered upon us, even when we are unworthy and unfit.

24 December, Monday – I will prepare a place for you, a home within my heart.

24 December

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2 Samuel 7:1-5,8-12,14,16

Once David had settled into his house and the Lord had given him rest from all the enemies surrounding him, the king said to the prophet Nathan, ‘Look, I am living in a house of cedar while the ark of God dwells in a tent.’ Nathan said to the king, ‘Go and do all that is in your mind, for the Lord is with you.’

But that very night the word of the Lord came to Nathan:

‘Go and tell my servant David, “Thus the Lord speaks: Are you the man to build me a house to dwell in? I took you from the pasture, from following the sheep, to be leader of my people Israel; I have been with you on all your expeditions; I have cut off all your enemies before you. I will give you fame as great as the fame of the greatest on earth. I will provide a place for my people Israel; I will plant them there and they shall dwell in that place and never be disturbed again; nor shall the wicked continue to oppress them as they did, in the days when I appointed judges over my people Israel; I will give them rest from all their enemies. The Lord will make you great; the Lord will make you a House. And when your days are ended and you are laid to rest with your ancestors, I will preserve the offspring of your body after you and make his sovereignty secure. I will be a father to him and he a son to me; if he does evil, I will punish him with the rod such as men use, with strokes such as mankind gives. Your House and your sovereignty will always stand secure before me and your throne be established for ever.”’

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Luke 1:67-79

John’s father Zechariah was filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke this prophecy:

‘Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel
for he has visited his people, he has come to their rescue
and he has raised up for us a power for salvation
in the House of his servant David,
even as he proclaimed,
by the mouth of his holy prophets from ancient times,
that he would save us from our enemies
and from the hands of all who hate us.
Thus he shows mercy to our ancestors,
thus he remembers his holy covenant
the oath he swore
to our father Abraham
that he would grant us, free from fear,
to be delivered from the hands of our enemies,
to serve him in holiness and virtue
in his presence, all our days.
And you, little child,
you shall be called Prophet of the Most High,
for you will go before the Lord
to prepare the way for him,
to give his people knowledge of salvation
through the forgiveness of their sins;
this by the tender mercy of our God
who from on high will bring the rising Sun to visit us,
to give light to those who live
in darkness and the shadow of death
and to guide our feet
into the way of peace.’

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‘The Lord will make you a house’

 December is a busy month for most of us. On the work front, most of us are busy wrapping up the year. Before the year ends, it’s already ended! We are already into 2019 strategies, plans and executions.

On the home front, we would have been busy preparing our homes for Christmas. Putting up the tree, buying gifts and preparing the ingredients for the festive meal. Busy getting ready for the festivities and to welcome family and friends to our home.

December has traditionally been very stressful for me. My heart and mind are in 2 different places. When advent comes around and we are meant to prepare our hearts for Christmas, we are often pulled apart by busyness to even settle down. I struggle to calm down and silence my heart interiorly during advent. And sharing this with my friends, they feel the same too.

Recently, I heard a new song. It’s a beautiful song and really puts into perspective what this time is for, while we await the coming of Christmas. A line in the lyrics of the song goes… I will prepare a place for you, a home within my heart. I will make my heart your Bethlehem, where you oh Lord can enter in.

 Today’s first reading sees the Lord asking King David, ‘Are you the man to build me a house to dwell in?’. The Lord has been so generous to David. He has been there for David throughout his expeditions, protected him for his enemies. ‘I will give you fame as great as the fame of the greatest on earth….. The Lord will make you great; the Lord will make you a house.’ As we look back on the year, can we take stock of the times that the Lord has been there for us, through our ups and downs, through victories and even losses? Through the happy moments and painful ones? Are we today sitting right here in our homes, in our offices, on a bus or train, are we breathing, did we wake up this morning? The Lord has been with us all along. He too promises to make us a house. And our house will stand secure before Him. Just like David’s.

How are we preparing a place for Him? Will our Lord Jesus have a place to lay his head on this holy night of his birth? Are we ready to welcome Jesus into our homes, to celebrate His birthday? Can we spend these last few hours before Christmas preparing a home for Jesus – a place within our hearts? Have a blessed, holy Christmas my brothers and sisters.  May Jesus dwell in the home of your heart.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Geraldine Nah)

Prayer: Jesus, may our hearts be your Bethlehem.

Thanksgiving: Thank you for the best gift a Father could ever give His children. Thank you for giving us your Son, Jesus Christ. As we await His birth, may we prepare a manger for Him in our hearts. May this ‘home’ be warm and welcoming.

23 December, Sunday – Thy will be done.

23 December 2018

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Micah 5:1-4  

The Lord says this:
But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah,
the least of the clans of Judah,
out of you will be born for me
the one who is to rule over Israel;
his origin goes back to the distant past,
to the days of old.
The Lord is therefore going to abandon them
till the time when she who is to give birth gives birth.
Then the remnant of his brothers will come back
to the sons of Israel.
He will stand and feed his flock
with the power of the Lord,
with the majesty of the name of his God.
They will live secure, for from then on he will extend his power
to the ends of the land.
He himself will be peace.

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Hebrews 10:5-10

This is what Christ said, on coming into the world:

You who wanted no sacrifice or oblation,
prepared a body for me.
You took no pleasure in holocausts or sacrifices for sin;
then I said,
just as I was commanded in the scroll of the book,
‘God, here I am! I am coming to obey your will.’

Notice that he says first: You did not want what the Law lays down as the things to be offered, that is: the sacrifices, the oblations, the holocausts and the sacrifices for sin, and you took no pleasure in them; and then he says: Here I am! I am coming to obey your will. He is abolishing the first sort to replace it with the second. And this will was for us to be made holy by the offering of his body made once and for all by Jesus Christ.

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Luke 1:39-44

Mary set out and went as quickly as she could to a town in the hill country of Judah. She went into Zechariah’s house and greeted Elizabeth. Now as soon as Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the child leapt in her womb and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. She gave a loud cry and said, ‘Of all women you are the most blessed, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. Why should I be honoured with a visit from the mother of my Lord? For the moment your greeting reached my ears, the child in my womb leapt for joy. Yes, blessed is she who believed that the promise made her by the Lord would be fulfilled.’

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“Here I am! I am coming to obey your will.”

 We pray the Lord’s Prayer each time we go for mass and even daily. But some of us have been so conditioned to recite this prayer without giving it a second thought. ‘Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven’. But are we truly willing to give all we have and own to the Lord? Do we allow our Father to direct our lives? Or do we only ‘allow’ Him to lead when it is comfortable for us or fits into our plan? ‘Thy will be done’. Personally, I am always filled with trepidation whenever I pray that line. Because I know that My Father’s plan for me isn’t always my plan. His plan takes me into uncomfortable and unknown territory and that’s scary.

Recently, I prayed for the Lord to give me the courage to really submit to His will. I am not sure if that was a good idea, but shortly after, an avalanche of ‘invitations’ were extended to me.

As a result, I feel overwhelmed and yes, I feel extremely uncomfortable.

Days leading up to a retreat I was serving and also during the retreat proper, I have been asked to help out in our community’s forward strategic planning and communications. ‘Step up’, they say. In my own mind, I think to myself that I was asked because few people would want to do this on a volunteer basis. I do this professionally and this would be a good way of giving back; but I am hesitant and have not said ‘Yes!’

A more recent incident occurred when I was asked to do something, and this time, really against my will. I was asked to cantor the Responsorial Psalm in front of a large, unfamiliar crowd of people who are very used to extremely good cantors. Every fibre of my being was screaming ‘NO!’  I have been a part of this choir now for almost 8 years; very comfortable as part of the general choir and doing other work necessary to support the team in retreats. I do not have a great nor strong voice and so this request freaked me out. I had planned an ‘exit strategy’. A very viable and workable one. However, a very competitive part of me also challenged myself to just do it – to prove to others and myself that I would not chicken out. So when the time came, God allowed me exactly 45 seconds of calmness. I got through the Psalms. But as I sat down waiting my turn to do the gospel acclamation, my mind went blank and I simply forgot the tune. Too late and I whispered a quick prayer for the Holy Spirit to take over. Long story short – I survived the entire experience and I know the Holy Spirit took over. Will I do this again? Probably yes, not by my will, but by my Father’s.

I share this experience with you, my brothers and sisters, not to direct any attention to myself. The examples are share with you today are miniscule compared to other’s who have their lives turned upside down when they submit to Our Father.

Look at Mary in today’s gospel. Her trust and obedience to God led her to say ‘Yes’ although by any human standards, it seemed a really bad idea. Her ‘fiat’ led to many other ‘yes-s’. Her ‘yes’ led to a lot of pain, suffering and humiliation. Her ‘yes’ also gave her joy and happiness. Her ‘yes’ gave us her son, our Father’s Son – Our Lord and Saviour, whose birth we commemorate and will celebrate very soon.

Are we willing and truly open to really say ‘Thy will be done?’ knowing that Our Father’s will leads to a greater good than just our own?

(Today’s OXYGEN by Geraldine Nah)

Prayer: Father, the next time we pray the Lord’s Prayer, let us pray this with our heart.  To truly and courageously say ‘Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven’. Give us the obedience to act and live according to Your Will and may our lives be living testimonies of putting you in the centre of everything. May we bring love, peace and hope to others this Christmas time.

Thanksgiving: Thank you Lord, for your love and patience in teaching and moulding us. We thank you for showing us that when we obediently allow ourselves to be led by You, you show us all the wonderful possibilities and, more importantly, how our gifts and talents can be used to evangelise and bring others closer to you.

31 October, Wednesday – Stepping On Each Others’ Toes

31 October

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Ephesians 6:1-9

Children, be obedient to your parents in the Lord – that is your duty. The commandment that has a promise attached to it is: Honour your father and mother, and the promise is: and you will prosper and have a long life in the land. And parents, never drive your children to resentment but in bringing them up correct them and guide them as the Lord does.

Slaves, be obedient to the men who are called your masters in this world, with deep respect and sincere loyalty, as you are obedient to Christ: not only when you are under their eye, as if you had only to please men, but because you are slaves of Christ and wholeheartedly do the will of God. Work hard and willingly, but do it for the sake of the Lord and not for the sake of men. You can be sure that everyone, whether a slave or a free man, will be properly rewarded by the Lord for whatever work he has done well. And those of you who are employers, treat your slaves in the same spirit; do without threats, remembering that they and you have the same Master in heaven and he is not impressed by one person more than by another.

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Luke 13:22-30

Through towns and villages Jesus went teaching, making his way to Jerusalem. Someone said to him, ‘Sir, will there be only a few saved?’ He said to them, ‘Try your best to enter by the narrow door, because, I tell you, many will try to enter and will not succeed.

‘Once the master of the house has got up and locked the door, you may find yourself knocking on the door, saying, “Lord, open to us” but he will answer, “I do not know where you come from.” Then you will find yourself saying, “We once ate and drank in your company; you taught in our streets” but he will reply, “I do not know where you come from. Away from me, all you wicked men!”

‘Then there will be weeping and grinding of teeth, when you see Abraham and Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, and yourselves turned outside. And men from east and west, from north and south, will come to take their places at the feast in the kingdom of God.

‘Yes, there are those now last who will be first, and those now first who will be last.’

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Doing the will of God from the heart, willingly serving the Lord and not men.

For some time now, I felt that it might be time to move on from the ministry I serve in. I felt that I wasn’t growing anymore after close to 7 years in the ministry. Despite an opportunity earlier this year for a bigger role, as the months went by, I felt like I didn’t make a difference. The ‘machinery’ was simply too heavy and too entrenched to change. We were tasked as a team for change management but 7 months on, nothing had changed. People were working far slower than I am used to. I became restless and impatient. I found myself getting more disillusioned and less patient with some of my fellow ministry members.

I began to entertain the thought that perhaps I could be better utilised in another capacity, and not necessarily within the same ministry or the same community. Coincidentally, for a few months now, I have been called to help out in other capacities within the community and it is refreshing.

One day, I happened to come across one of Archbishop’s daily podcasts – and on that particular day, he preached about leaving things to God. He questioned if we work in an organization or serve in a ministry and feel frustrated. Or when we feel that we add no value or are not making any difference, do we quit? His answer to us was a resounding ‘No!’ We do not simply give up but give it to God. God is the master of our lives; the President/CEO of the organisation/community we serve in.

Serving in a Christian community is not easy. With any community we are in, we encounter all sorts of people – some we get on with, others not so much. Inevitably, we will step on each other’s toes. We are all wounded individuals. And the downside for some of us with corporate backgrounds is that we expect things to work like a corporate organization – based on KPIs and performance, often heartless. But not everyone is wired to work the same way. It’s not as if we can go out there and hire ‘the best talent’ for the job. Most of us are volunteers.

While there are some good practices we can adopt for large corporations, working in a church environment is completely different. Especially when it comes to dealing with human resources – better managed with love, compassion and understanding; stepping into the other person’s shoes. Who are we to judge the other? It is God who chose each one of us, not because we are qualified. But because He will equip us. Look at how He chose his disciples!

So as I serve today, I keep reminding myself to lean not on my own understanding and efforts. To keep pride at bay. To keep my eyes on Him. To serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men.

I will end today’s reflection with a story about porcupines.

It was a particularly harrowing time in Porcupine Land. The winter was severe, and the porcupines were finding it difficult to survive, and freezing to death. That’s when the porcupines decided to meet and agree on a course of action.

As they got together to discuss their survival strategy, they discovered that just by being close to each other, their bodies generated heat; so they found they could survive the cold by just staying together.

But there was a problem. As they huddled together, their quills would poke and hurt the other. Soon some porcupines decided to avoid the pain and moved away. But as they went out, the cold got to them and they died.

Soon, better sense prevailed and the porcupines realised it was better to stay together and survive rather than go out on their own and die. Getting poked by the quills seemed like a small price to pay for survival.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Geraldine Nah)

Prayer: Lord, give us hearts of love, compassion and understanding. Help us to love our fellow brothers and sisters as you love us. Teach us to be humble at heart, to serve you in obedience.  

Thanksgiving: Thank you for your steadfast love and faithfulness.

30 October, Tuesday – Do you become discouraged?

30 October

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Ephesians 5:21-33

Give way to one another in obedience to Christ. Wives should regard their husbands as they regard the Lord, since as Christ is head of the Church and saves the whole body, so is a husband the head of his wife; and as the Church submits to Christ, so should wives to their husbands, in everything. Husbands should love their wives just as Christ loved the Church and sacrificed himself for her to make her holy. He made her clean by washing her in water with a form of words, so that when he took her to himself she would be glorious, with no speck or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and faultless. In the same way, husbands must love their wives as they love their own bodies; for a man to love his wife is for him to love himself. A man never hates his own body, but he feeds it and looks after it; and that is the way Christ treats the Church, because it is his body – and we are its living parts. For this reason, a man must leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one body. This mystery has many implications; but I am saying it applies to Christ and the Church. To sum up; you too, each one of you, must love his wife as he loves himself; and let every wife respect her husband.

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Luke 13:18-21

Jesus said, ‘What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it with? It is like a mustard seed which a man took and threw into his garden: it grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air sheltered in its branches.’

Another thing he said, ‘What shall I compare the kingdom of God with? It is like the yeast a woman took and mixed in with three measures of flour till it was leavened all through.’

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A mustard seed

I often get frustrated with myself when I don’t see results in what I do. Why am I not learning quickly enough? Why can’t I cook or bake like this other person? Why am I not a better artist? Why am I not growing spiritually? Someone recently shared with me this pearl of wisdom – don’t be a second-rate version of someone else, but be the best version of yourself.

As I ponder over this, the truth of the fact is – I really am hard on myself. My better half always says I should give myself more credit. As I thought about this even more, if I can indulge myself just a bit, I have grown in so many way over the last few years. I am a better cook today than I ever was while I was still part of the rat race. I can bake a rather mean honeycomb cake. I draw better today than I did 6 months ago, and yes, I have grown spiritually. I may not be better than the next person, but I am growing each day to be a better version of myself.

Have I done this on my own? Not really. Everything that has happened was just a leap of faith on my part. A very small leap. All I had was the tiny faith of a mustard seed. Everything else was God’s work. He placed within me a seed of transformation and it grew.

Brothers and sisters, review today the routine tasks of your life.  Does it rise up to challenge you? Do you become discouraged when you do not see results? Something as small as a mustard seed or as little as a measure of yeast can, given the proper conditions, produce great growth and transformation. We often measure ourselves against the biggest and the best things, that we easily overlook the things that are small and more humble. Perhaps we can look at prayers we said, hopes we have for ourselves and our loved one. It may not have turned out the way we envisioned, but can we recognise how the seeds have grown?

Can I see the ‘yeast’ of a vision, a desire, a dream and see how it has inspired me and others? Yes, I certainly can!

(Today’s OXYGEN by Geraldine Nah)

Prayer: Lord, teach me to recognise the seeds of transformation which you have placed within me. Help me to understand that the kingdom is growing now in me, and that you are making your presence known to me in small as well as big ways.  

Thanksgiving: Thank you Lord, for planting the seeds within me and how you have nurtured me and helped me grow.

29 October, Monday – Live in Love

29 October

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Ephesians 4:32-5:8

Be friends with one another, and kind, forgiving each other as readily as God forgave you in Christ.

Try, then, to imitate God as children of his that he loves and follow Christ loving as he loved you, giving himself up in our place as a fragrant offering and a sacrifice to God. Among you there must be not even a mention of fornication or impurity in any of its forms, or promiscuity: this would hardly become the saints! There must be no coarseness, or salacious talk and jokes-all this is wrong for you; raise your voices in thanksgiving instead. For you can be quite certain that nobody who actually indulges in fornication or impurity or promiscuity-which is worshipping a false god-can inherit anything of the kingdom of God. Do not let anyone deceive you with empty arguments: it is for this loose living that God’s anger comes down on those who rebel against him. Make sure that you are not included with them. You were darkness once, but now you are light in the Lord; be like children of light.

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Luke 13:10-17

One sabbath day Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues, and a woman was there who for eighteen years had been possessed by a spirit that left her enfeebled; she was bent double and quite unable to stand upright. When Jesus saw her he called her over and said, ‘Woman, you are rid of your infirmity’ and he laid his hands on her. And at once she straightened up, and she glorified God.

But the synagogue official was indignant because Jesus had healed on the sabbath, and he addressed the people present. ‘There are six days’ he said ‘when work is to be done. Come and be healed on one of those days and not on the sabbath.’ But the Lord answered him. ‘Hypocrites!’ he said ‘Is there one of you who does not untie his ox or his donkey from the manger on the sabbath and take it out for watering? And this woman, a daughter of Abraham whom Satan has held bound these eighteen years – was it not right to untie her bonds on the sabbath day?’ When he said this, all his adversaries were covered with confusion, and all the people were overjoyed at all the wonders he worked.

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Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another…and live in love.

Today’s first reading tells us to practice human virtues of kindness, compassion and forgiveness. We are to imitate God, as his beloved children and to live in love. Sounds so ‘zen’, yes? The way I feel sometimes, I think I might have to be high on drugs to be this loving person. Being a Christian and following Christ is not easy. It is ‘cheap words’ when we go around spouting “Peace be with you” when our hearts are far from peaceful.

Recently, at our ‘Revival Friday’ session at the Catholic Spirituality Centre, the priest said something that had me nodding – when someone is hurting and struggling with a life situation, the last thing you should say is “I’ll pray for you!” I can resonate with that, because every time someone says that to me, I will dutifully reply “Thank you.” When in my heart, I am really saying “What a cop out thing to say!” Actions speak louder than words. Instead of saying “I’ll pray for you.” It’s far better to say “I’ll pray with you.” When someone is not feeling so great and down, sometimes the best thing to do is just to be there for them, listen to them, and not utter a single word.

I have been pondering over a perplexing situation between a friend and I. For some reason, this friend became hostile and cold towards me. It really surprised me and for the life of me, I cannot quite figure out what I might have done to upset this person. So being the good Christian, I decided to reach out to her and apologized for whatever I may have done. She responded very casually, as if there was absolutely nothing wrong. Perhaps she wasn’t ready to confront me. Perhaps she is herself confronting a difficult life situation and I shouldn’t take this personally. Now may not be the time to reach out. But in my mind, I keep wondering what I’ve done, and waver between being upset and understanding.

But as today’s readings remind me – I will still love my sister, strive to be tender-hearted, understanding and compassionate. And when the time is right, perhaps I could reach out to her again. I may not be like Jesus, healing with a touch of my hands. But perhaps, I could pave the way for healing — just be being there. Just by praying with her and for her.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Geraldine Nah)

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Prayer: Jesus, give us hearts after yours – hearts of forgiveness, compassion and kindness. Teach us to walk in love. Especially to show love to people who hurt us, people who are hurting and people whom we find difficult to love.  

Thanksgiving: Thank you Jesus, for loving us. Especially when we are so unlovable. That you for healing our broken hearts and broken lives.

28 October, Sunday – Seasons of Change

28 October 2018

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Jeremiah 31:7-9

The Lord says this:

Shout with joy for Jacob!
Hail the chief of nations!
Proclaim! Praise! Shout:
‘The Lord has saved his people,
the remnant of Israel!’

See, I will bring them back
from the land of the North
and gather them from the far ends of earth;
all of them: the blind and the lame,
women with child, women in labour:
a great company returning here.

They had left in tears,
I will comfort them as I lead them back;
I will guide them to streams of water,
by a smooth path where they will not stumble.
For I am a father to Israel,
and Ephraim is my first-born son.

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Hebrews 5:1-6

Every high priest has been taken out of mankind and is appointed to act for men in their relations with God, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins; and so he can sympathise with those who are ignorant or uncertain because he too lives in the limitations of weakness. That is why he has to make sin offerings for himself as well as for the people. No one takes this honour on himself, but each one is called by God, as Aaron was. Nor did Christ give himself the glory of becoming high priest, but he had it from the one who said to him: You are my son, today I have become your father, and in another text: You are a priest of the order of Melchizedek, and for ever.

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Mark 10:46-52

As Jesus left Jericho with his disciples and a large crowd, Bartimaeus (that is, the son of Timaeus), a blind beggar, was sitting at the side of the road. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout and to say, ‘Son of David, Jesus, have pity on me.’ And many of them scolded him and told him to keep quiet, but he only shouted all the louder, ‘Son of David, have pity on me.’ Jesus stopped and said, ‘Call him here.’ So they called the blind man. ‘Courage,’ they said ‘get up; he is calling you.’ So throwing off his cloak, he jumped up and went to Jesus. Then Jesus spoke, ‘What do you want me to do for you?’ ‘Rabbuni,’ the blind man said to him ‘Master, let me see again.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Go; your faith has saved you.’ And immediately his sight returned and he followed him along the road.

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With weeping they shall come, and with consolations I will lead them back

Today’s first reading brings much consolation to my heart. In life, each of us goes through seasons of change. My season now is best described as autumn – what used to be green has turned to shades of mustard, yellow, purple, black, blue and brown. I feel like a chapter of life is dying and I feel extremely melancholic. When acquaintances chirpily ask me “So how’s the going?” I would simply reply, “OK.” Who wants to speak to a ‘downer’ right? Not everyone wants to hear my story. For a while, I have kept my emotions buried so deep that I almost forgot about them. In my busy-ness over the past few months, I was actually quite upbeat. I thought I was finally on the way to healing.

Then one day, a couple of weeks back, I had a tête-à-tête with a dear friend. We laughed and were thankful that with each other, we could be ourselves; not have to wear masks and build up walls. We spoke about what irritated us, what made us sad, and what worried us. What a relief it was to be able to share freely. However after that chat, I felt that my wounds opened again, they were still raw with a numb, aching pain. In the days that followed, I didn’t know quite how to handle these feelings. That weekend, I sat in a crowded café with my sugar brioche and latte and to my surprise, my tears started to stream.

I reflected on this further – I learnt that we are not meant to try to handle our problems alone. A priest said during a weekend homily that if we carried our crosses alone, we’d probably be crushed under that weight. But if we carried it with Jesus, we will eventually find joy and peace — hard to comprehend when we are buried deep in the pain of our wounds. However, I realise that I wasn’t alone in that crowded café. Yes, a lot of other people and my unsuspecting coffee partner was there. But Jesus was right there with me. With weeping they shall come, and with consolations I will lead them back. This may be a season of autumn, and soon it will be winter. But in winter, there is always Christmas and then it will be spring again.

Brothers and sisters, whatever season we are in, we have to just acknowledge that season of life. We cannot bypass these seasons of change, we are not meant to. Do not ignore it, nor bury it. But let us sit with it. Invite Jesus in, just like how Bartimaeus called out to Jesus. And let Jesus restore us and heal us. And soon, it will be summer again!

(Today’s OXYGEN by Geraldine Nah)

Prayer: Lord, we often try to do things on our own strength and fail miserably. Let us cling onto you and call out to you in faith, knowing that you are ever loving and just waiting for us to invite you in.

Thanksgiving: Thank you Jesus, for the marvels you have worked in our lives. For being with us in the different seasons of our lives, for carrying our crosses with us.

8 September, Saturday – A Vocation Is A School Of Charity

8 September – Feast of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary

The birth of the Blessed Virgin Mary announced joy and the approaching salvation of a lost world. Mary was brought into the world not like other children of Adam, infected with the contagion of sin, but pure, holy, beautiful, and glorious, adorned with all the most precious graces fitting for the one predestined to be the Mother of the Saviour. Never did she have the slightest inclination towards anything other than the absolute and immediate Will of God.

She appeared indeed in the weak condition of all mortals, but in the eyes of Heaven she already transcended the highest seraphim in purity, humility, charity, and the richest ornaments of grace. God had created her in the original grace, as in the beginning Adam and Eve had enjoyed that ineffable privilege; after original sin, it was lost for all Adam’s posterity, until the time of the Redemption dawned in Mary. (Cf. I Cor. 15:21-23)

The nations celebrate, often too noisily, the birthdays of the great ones of this earth… How then ought we, Christians, to rejoice in that of the Virgin Mary, Mother of our Salvation, and to present publicly to God the homage of our best praises and thanksgiving for the great mercies He has shown in her, imploring her mediation with her Divine Son!

Jesus of Nazareth will not reject the supplications of His most holy Mother, through whom He chose to descend from Heaven; she, the Spouse of the Canticle, is all beautiful and is the one He was pleased to obey while on earth. Her love, care, and tenderness for Him, the title and qualities which she bears, the charity and graces with which she is adorned, and the crown of glory with which she is honoured, incline Him readily to receive her recommendations and petitions.

– http://www.magnificat.ca/cal/engl/09-08.htm

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Romans 8:28-30

We know that by turning everything to their good, God co-operates with all those who love him, with all those he has called according to his purpose. They are the ones he chose specially long ago and intended to become true images of his Son, so that his Son might be the eldest of many brothers. He called those he intended for this; those he called he justified, and with those he justified he shared his glory.

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Matthew 1:1-16,18-23

A genealogy of Jesus Christ, son of David, son of Abraham:

Abraham was the father of Isaac,
Isaac the father of Jacob,
Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers,
Judah was the father of Perez and Zerah, Tamar being their mother,
Perez was the father of Hezron,
Hezron the father of Ram,
Ram was the father of Amminadab,
Amminadab the father of Nahshon,
Nahshon the father of Salmon,
Salmon was the father of Boaz, Rahab being his mother,
Boaz was the father of Obed, Ruth being his mother,
Obed was the father of Jesse;
and Jesse was the father of King David.

David was the father of Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah’s wife,
Solomon was the father of Rehoboam,
Rehoboam the father of Abijah, Abijah the father of Asa,
Asa was the father of Jehoshaphat,
Jehoshaphat the father of Joram,
Joram the father of Azariah,
Azariah was the father of Jotham,
Jotham the father of Ahaz,
Ahaz the father of Hezekiah,
Hezekiah was the father of Manasseh,
Manasseh the father of Amon,
Amon the father of Josiah;
and Josiah was the father of Jechoniah and his brothers.
Then the deportation to Babylon took place.

After the deportation to Babylon:
Jechoniah was the father of Shealtiel,
Shealtiel the father of Zerubbabel,
Zerubbabel was the father of Abiud,
Abiud the father of Eliakim,
Eliakim the father of Azor,
Azor was the father of Zadok,
Zadok the father of Achim,
Achim the father of Eliud,
Eliud was the father of Eleazar,
Eleazar the father of Matthan,
Matthan the father of Jacob;
and Jacob was the father of Joseph the husband of Mary;
of her was born Jesus who is called Christ.

This is how Jesus Christ came to be born. His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph; but before they came to live together she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Her husband Joseph; being a man of honour and wanting to spare her publicity, decided to divorce her informally. He had made up his mind to do this when the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because she has conceived what is in her by the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son and you must name him Jesus, because he is the one who is to save his people from their sins.’ Now all this took place to fulfil the words spoken by the Lord through the prophet:

The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son
and they will call him Emmanuel,

a name which means ‘God-is-with-us.’

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We know that all things work together for good for those who love God.

Just as Mary was chosen by God to be the Mother of our Lord, we too are chosen to be his people, his disciples. You and I are chosen, even before we were born. Our DNAs were already coded, and we are called to live our lives according to his purpose. How awesome is that!

Not too long ago, some friends and I were discussing how we are all hard coded with a vocation and gifts that the Lord gives us. “Before you were conceived in your mother’s womb, I set you aside.” This is God telling us is that he had something in mind for us when he gave us the gift of life, even from before he gave us the gift. Something he wants us to be, and something he wants us to do. This is God’s plan.

I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what my vocation is. And along the way, I get so frustrated with myself because I don’t seem to be able to figure it out or succeed in my ‘called’ vocation. If God had a blueprint for me, and if I prayed about it hard enough, He would surely reveal it to me and I can stop making a mess of this life. If I found my vocation in life, then things would just fall into place and make sense. Don’t we all think that our true calling, when we find it, will bring a kind of total solidarity and purpose to our fragmented, broken, and perhaps aimless lives?

Then something clicked in me – rightly or wrongly I don’t know. But I figured this — a vocation is not about one self, our preferences and what makes us comfortable. Mary’s calling is to be the Mother of God, Jesus is called to be Our Lord and Saviour, the Son of Man – neither vocations were for themselves but for others. And it sure wasn’t without pain and suffering. We expect a vocation to solve all of our problems, answer all of our questions, and satisfy all of our desires. But these are not the purposes of a vocation. The real purpose of any vocation is for service of God – some directly like religious vocations and some indirectly like most of yours and mine.

I read in an article “A vocation – any vocation – is a school of charity and a means of crucifixion. Your vocation is the means by which your self-serving ego will die in order to be resurrected as the servant and lover of God. This is all that we can expect; but this is everything – the meaning of life, all there really is.”

And each of us has a personal vocation. God created all of us uniquely. God gives each of us a unique, unrepeatable set of gifts, abilities and circumstances. And He has a plan for our lives — a custom-tailored unique plan to those gifts, abilities and circumstances. And this personal vocation is about what God wants us to do with our lives — not in the one-time “this is how I give myself way”, but in every moment of every day, living out His plan.

So the lightbulb moment came for me just a few weeks back. My personal vocation for most of my adult life was to be a daughter. To care and provide for my family. As a young adult, I had resented it and wondered why, unlike some of my friends, I had this very heavy responsibility.

Why couldn’t I just go on and live a carefree life? Over time, I learnt to let go of my questions, carry the cross of my problems, and be mysteriously fulfilled even when I was not happy. God’s plan was for me to simply be a daughter; and He provided every grace and means for me to live out that personal vocation.

My parents have since passed away. So in this new season of life, what is my next vocation? Only time will tell, but why do I think that I might be living it already? I do know that vocation is living beyond myself but for others. I will just continue and pray for another lightbulb moment.

Our vocation never changes – but the means by which we live it might, and it will change as our seasons of life change, and when we grow in our spirituality. Your vocation, in the end, is simply the means by which you will allow it to occur. Your vocation is not the answer to the question of your being; it is only a part of God’s pledge that the answer will be given in the end. Something to ponder about, my brothers and sisters.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Geraldine Nah)

Prayer: Lord, you made us perfect in your likeness. Give us Your guidance. Show us what You want us to do. Open our hearts to hear you. Open the doors You want us to walk through. May our lives be a gift to You.   

Thanksgiving: Lord God, thank you for the gifts and charisms given to each of us so specially. May we use these gifts entrusted to us for the greater good of Your Kingdom.